Doodling -

 I can't help it. Whenever I find my hands itching to do something - anything that is not an actual chore - I find myself ... doodling. Sometimes they are 2D - like this

Or something inspired by words:

This is a picture of Admiral Gantheaume
Who once led a diplomatic mission to Rome.
The purpose of the visit was a mystery to some
who wondered why on earth he had come;
But there was no mystery at all to many,
knowing that of purpose the trip had not any;
And the enigma had already been solved to most,
who suspected that the mission had no purpose to boast.
Having paid his respects to the Bishop of Rome,
Admiral Gantheaume led his mission back home.

This little ten-liner was inspired by this epitaph in clerihew form:
    'Here lies Admiral Gantheaume
    Who sailed his fleet from Brest to Bartheaume;
    Then aided by a wind from the west
    Sailed his fleet from Bartheaume to Brest.'

But sometimes the 'doodling' is 3D. Finding some balsa offcuts, I finally filled the missing two battleships of Saabia Navy with a couple of slightly smaller vessels - battlecruisers. Then the Ra'esharn Navy acquired four more destroyers; the Kiivar also two more, and just this last few days the battlecruiser that features in the Battle of Phaiq T'anh. 

Suddenly an armed merchant cruiser has appeared on the scene - these bits of balsa just keeps turning up. This thing will have to be given 'stats' of its own. Let's see:

• Flotation Points: 9FP. Converted from a MS for convoy protection, will have added protection fitted;
• Speed: 2 hexes;
• Gun ranges: 0-3 hexes - 5-6 to hit;  4-6 hexes - 6 to hit (i.e. cruiser sized armament);
• Firepower: Forward: 1D6; Broadside: 2D6; Aft: 1D6 (model has one gun forward and aft) 
• Anti-Air: 2D6 all round

  

  Armed Merchant Cruiser KNS Mollymawk.
  Really, just a 3D doodle made of balsa and pins...

  
  

In effect, this is a very weak cruiser. It might be interesting to see how it would go against a destroyer. The latter is faster and less well protected, but does have its torpedoes.

I have also been adding to the air fleets. All together, these amount to 102 aircraft mounted on 34 stands: 16 Ra'esharn (green), 12 Saabia (white); 6 Kiivar (blue). I'm about two-thirds the way through their construction. 

As I have a more ambitious scenario in mind that is likely to involve landing craft and a beach landing, I'll have to come up with 'stats' for these. They will be of two classes, LCI (infantry and support weapons and tows) and LCT (AFVs), but should have the same 'stats':

• Flotation Points: 3FP Very fragile, these things, and if reduced to 1FP will abandon any landing attempt.
• Speed: 1 hex Reduces to 0 only when reduced to 0FP
• AA: 1D6 all round.

A question concerning launching air attacks did occur to me. Suppose Ra'esharn and Saabian carrier groups launched their aircraft in the same turn. One side - let's say it is Ra'esharn - will get its attacks in before the enemy aircraft have had their chance to move into their attack. The best solution seems to me is to set the defender's - Saabia's - aircraft aside (obviously the enemy aircraft must have passed each other en route). When Ra'esharn has set up its air attacks, Saabia sets up their own. Then resolve the separate air attacks in turn.

One of those situations that seemed at first blush to be a problem, but turned out not to be so. 

Speaking of poems, the following saga was partly inspired by events in a Napoleonic campaign some ten or twelve years ago; and partly by Robert Burns's The Plenipotentiary. Although not as raunchy as the Bard's original, it retains a certain ribaldry. Readers have been warned...

The following is a poem by way of background for a 'what if' Napoleonic campaign begun several years ago. The campaign was 1809-plus - that is to say, during the course of the campaign in Bavaria and Austria, a British Expeditionary Force landed in Hanover, and the world awaited which way Prussia would jump. Much to everyone's surprise, the King of Prussia clove to Napoleon, whereat certain verses began to appear on walls of taverns and other likely spots in Vienna (I was/am playing the Austrian commands). Soon the lampoon became widely spread...

Readers will observe that the second stanza has a different rhythm to the others. That was due to absence of mind when penning it, but, having completed it, decided to let it stand.

The Intermediary (with acknowledgements and apologies to Robert Burns, writer of The Plenipotentiary):

Part One.

The King of Prussia, when wishing to usher
A new era in for his State, sir;
As he knew that in France, Josephine wore the pants,
He chose one well hung to negotiate, sir.
He searched through the Schloss, 'til he found out a 'hoss'
with diplomatic bags full and hairy;
With credentials aligned in breeches so fine
to act as his Intermediary.

Josephine was rapt, to moment that she clapt
Eyes upon the Envoy's manly frame.
From that instant was ignited a spark right soon requited:
The burning light of passion's deadly flame.
They began their discussion, the Empress and the Prussian, 
With courtesies exchanged in seemly wise
For they both knew for certain that behind every curtain
Lurked one o' Bonaparte's multitude of spies.

Desiring to dance, the Empress of France
Soon drew the Envoy to the floor, sir.
Admiring the charms held in his arms, 
He guided her out of the door, sir.
With caress and cosset, straitway to her closet,
He carried her light as a fairy; 
She abandoned her 'state, surrendered to fate,
And the amorous Intermediary!

It was not, I ween, to pleasure Josephine
That the Envoy came to Paris cap-in-hand, sir:
What was to follow, that Prussia might swallow
Hanover's coveted lands, sir.
So persuasive was the force of his 'political' discourse,
To refuse him the Empress was chary.
She answered him 'Yea', she would not say 'Nay'
To the persuasive Intermediary.

Napoleon turned green when he heard Josephine
His brows had garnished with horns, sir* (*yet again)
He swore he would make the young Prussian rake
Wish he had never been born, sir.
With tormented mind, the Treaty he signed, 
But marks of perturbance were nary
That he designed to requite the libertinous slight
Done him by the Intermediary.

Part Two.

The emperor sought one who’d bring the Envoy undone,
He searched his Empire at large, sir;
It was Monsieur Fouche who showed him the way,
And recalled him to Mme Lafarge, sir.
Madame Lafarge, as large as a barge,
with nethers cavernous and airy;
An uncomely wench, the very one to quench
The lusty Intermediary.



Mme Lafarge, though uncommon large,
‘Twas not to that she owed her ill fame, sir;
With needles she’d sit, under the guillotine and knit,
Whilst heads rolled down from the frame, sir.
Her visage gave fright to walkers at night,
Her eyes rounded and bloodshot and scary
The Emperor grinned: she’d be the end,
Of the false Intermediary.

But he reckoned without our libidinous lout
Whose tastes tended to the bizarre, sir
When faced with the Madame whose lusts without fathom
There was no risk of going too far, sir.
He rattled her good, right where she stood,
Three times three and a Hail Mary -
There was no quenching the appetite for wenching
Of the vigorous Intermediary.

Diplomatic work done, goodbyes said at a run,
The Envoy left for Berlin sir.
Carried with him report with gladsome purport
His mission was blessed with a win, sir.
But his memory rumbled of the lady he'd tumbled
A recollection that troubled his life;
His heart so smitten a letter he had written
To Mme Lafarge that he might take her to wife.
Upon receipt of this missive, the Madame grew pensive,
And the answer she gave him was wary;
But Napoleon smiled for he knew that his guile
Had conquered the Intermediary.

Ion A. Dowman

 They're all... doodles.